Galactic Maya

Glimpses into wider realities and observations during life on planet Earth

Page 13

May 20, 1998: I awoke at 4:20 this morning.  I had gone to bed with too many thoughts of yesteryear on my mind.  I was lying there, facing the window and just staring out when that little voice could be heard in my head:   You know, there is so much ahead of you.   I received a moving picture analogy. 

I am in a little clothing shop and standing at a dress rack. One at a time, I push a hanger past me, then review the next dress. As I do this, the little voice proceeds by pointing out that the dresses I have already seen are in the past now—decisions have been made, choices have been made. The one I am now holding is the present, and my head is then turned to the right as I view a rack of dresses yet to be seen. About halfway down I see a dress of shining gold. It really stands out. The voice went on to say that a highly probable bright future lay ahead but the the important point was to pay attention only to the present, only the dress I was holding right now, because each choice I make will have a bearing on the next outcome.

The moral of this little teaching is that the present is all that counts because it is in the present that we create our probable futures.  I could stop before reaching the gold dress…or not.  My choice. It’s okay to occasionally look back at the dresses you have already decided do not fit into your wardrobe, but don’t put a judgment to it.  They are all simply singular symbolisms of past lifestyles.  The ones ahead bid anticipation but are not yet in your hands to experience.  Look at what you hold at THIS INSTANT, in each instant…who manufactured it? Does the design please you? How would you alter it to make it work for you? Experience it, gain ideas, and move on.  In the end, you will find yourself with exactly the wardrobe collection you have chosen and built upon along the way.  Macy’s or K-mart?

May 25, 1998: This morning I felt a little lonely.  The sort of morning when I wish I was awakening with a romantic partner, sharing a cup of coffee and some affection.  Someone to share these thoughts and visions with as well.  But, Poppy and I have enjoyed this on another level, and this period has likely been the most important phase in my life thus far.  I can wait to see the countryside.  I can wait to step into a social life again. 
I understand on a very deep level that this period of inner reflection and quiet freedom to search out my future is exactly what I should be doing.  Once Poppy passes on, I feel a great change will occur in my own life and by extension, in the lives of my children and grandchildren.  It’s like a ballet dancer standing on her toe while a partner takes her hand and gently turns her in a new direction, a critical step in the dance.
(Later): Wow!  77-year-old Carol Channing is on the Larry King Live show right now, talking about her 41-year marriage to a control freak. EVERYTHING she said screamed out the exact same experiences I had with my two marriages…controlling her interaction with contacts, her every move…her life!  The obsessive jealousy and possession, all of it!  Shows that no matter what age you are, if you take charge of it you can create a window of opportunity to make your life what you want it to be.  I think that I really experienced a dangerous knack of not trusting myself to make good choices and because of that, I didn’t make smart choices.  When I think back to the beginnings of those relationships, I readily recall that my initial instincts had been not to become involved with these guys, but flowers and candy can create immense clouds of illusion.  I have now found my inner voice, and I am learning to listen..and GO, CAROL!

May 25, 1998:

Character is defined as doing the right thing when no one is looking.

I just heard this in of all places, a TV political campaign ad!  But despite the source, this caught my attention.  As soon as I heard it, that little voice in my head was heard saying You are not on this journey alone, you know.
Now, why did hearing that slogan create that thought?  I really follow these thoughts now because, though the logic does not usually make sense, our thought process gives us incredible clues every instant.  Statement: Character is defined as doing the right thing when no one is looking.  My thought response: You are not on this journey alone, you know.  What is the send/receive connection or message?  Perhaps someone is ALWAYS looking, huh?
(Later): Poppy was napping on the couch this afternoon when all of a sudden he came spontaneously to consciousness, jumped up, and headed to his room.  He finally emerged after a long, quiet time. 
After asking him what he was up to, he replied, “Oh, yeah.  I am rearranging my clothes closet.  I have too many clothes.  I’m trying to put the clothes that fit me into one drawer.  I just don’t know whether to get rid of the rest of them or not.” 
He sat down with me, grabbed his coffee and said with resolve, “I just have too many clothes.” 
Poppy just doesn’t want to have me do it when he leaves.  That is what he is really telling me.

May 27, 1998: The comedian Phil Hartman was murdered today by his wife who then killed herself.  I find irony in the fact Mr. Hartman was well known for his impersonations of President Clinton; some sort of vicarious enactment of how Hillary could be feeling about the President right about now.  Strange.

May 29, 1998: A new planet in another solar system has been discovered and was televised for the first time today.  Astrologically, this is significant because it is likely the conscious manifestation of heretofore unrealized knowledge about what is really going on.  I think it should be named Atlantea because it may signal a cleansing about to occur on our planet. 
Atlantis suffered a series of at least three major geological events before the people were completely scattered upon the earth.  At this time, we are beginning to experience some devastating weather patterns, and “normal” people are suddenly doing extremely out-of-character acts. Nuclear war is again a threat and world leaders are dropping like flies. 
The energy of this (re)discovered planet has the Uranian potential to turn our world up-side-down in order to create a new reality, or perhaps lift the veil of illusion that keeps us FROM the ultimately reality.  Time will tell.

June 06, 1998: Last night, Poppy told me that the father of one of his coworkers also has terminal cancer.  The father apparently decided he could not take this anymore and is now refusing to take any medications or treatments; he talks of suicide. 
As Poppy told the story, I realized I was listening to a man also dying of cancer yet Poppy, for all the ups and downs, is still ambulating, working, and creating on no IVs, pumps, whatever.  What a contrast!  I think it is approach and attitude; perhaps Reiki is helping as well.  But, bottom line is that beyond the pain and discomfort, Poppy is choosing to live and experience his dying like it is a scientific experiment.  I truly believe that Poppy’s out-of-body war experience now comforts him in ways that I may never know.  I do hope he will reveal more on that, but if he does not do so while here, then he most assuredly will do so after he arrives there.
I watch him drive off to work each morning, and he now pauses at the end of the driveway and drinks in the sights and sounds, the house, the trees, the foliage, and the colors.  In his way, he continues to absorb as much as he can in his memory.  If he did not believe somewhere deep inside that he would be taking those memories with him on his next journey, he would never think to pause.

June 07, 1998: I fell into a reverie again today.  I was back at the dress shop, but this time, just as I was visualizing a black, sexy negligee a few dresses down. A voice distracted me and asked me to begin visualizing myself in a running competition.  She started discussing my efforts and a probable bright future ahead, but I was not impressed with running; not my style was my thought response.  So we turned to swimming, since I was a competitive swimmer in junior high school.  I felt my arms reaching and taking long strides through the water.  Then, I was suddenly seeing myself from above like in an overhead shot.  From that vantage point, I could see that I was in the lead; I had come further than I thought!
Bandit distracted me, so I was unable to maintain this vision.   But, over the last several months, some sort of window or channel of communication has widened.  What I use to call daydreaming seems more like something substantial, more solid. 
Perhaps, I am simply losing my mind.  What a pleasant way to do so.
(Later): I have given much thought today to how I can be seeing these visions while wide awake, without losing grip on my normal surroundings.   It came to me that our third eye, located behind the forehead, is totally independent of our physical eyes.  When activated, it somehow distracts the viewer from what the physical eyes are seeing although from my experiences, it does not impair the function of the physical eyes at all.  When I see these visions, my physical eyes are open.  I am aware of where I am and what is going on but, like switching gears, the mental eye becomes the focus of attention.  I have noticed that I am learning to control the “switching of gears”, but it is as though a little projector starts running, projects onto the back of my forehead and brings my awareness to that image.  Like sitting in a theatre with a balcony and two screens.  When I go up and sit in the balcony, I start watching another screen, although I am fully aware that another image is playing on the screen below.  I guess what I am trying to say is that the vision does not overlap or interfere with my physical vision.  It just projects itself in another space-inner space.  Both can happen.  I am aware of both.
I am also more aware that this is a function available to all humans—along with walking, talking, thinking, acting—there is inner vision and guidance.  For reasons that could only have originated thousands of years ago, we have been taught, inbred to suppress that little projector.  I suppose I am just lately becoming open and more aware of it because I am living in very intense energy now, with the life force of a new baby coming in, and a life force preparing to leave.  This is creating some sort of vortex.  But, it also strongly confirms to me that every human being has the capacity to connect with s higher Self within, and I hope that within my lifetime I will  see humanity becoming  more and more aware of their very special connection.  All they need do is come with an open mind, an open heart, and utmost faith. Not religious dogma-type faith, but faith within each of us that states, “I, too, am a light onto this world.” 
When this becomes knowable to a critical mass, humanity will begin taking responsibility for itself once again.

June 9,  1998:  I have felt rather lethargic over the last few days.  I awoke today again with a desire to just lounge around, read a book, or fall back to sleep.  Then my inner voice, as though finally getting my conscious attention said “Physician!  Heal Thyself!” 
That did it.  I got up, opened the curtains, took a shower, and now I am listening to Grand Canyon Suite while scrounging around for garden tools.  As I rummaged around, I could hear a pep talk going on within; keep your focus clear, establish, create!
(Later): The new curio was delivered today. Poppy wanted more space for his dolls.   As soon as he came home from work, he was right there inspecting the entire case.  Then, after considerable mental thought he said:
“I’m going to get the drill, and  I’m going to need your help, here.”  
Ten minutes later, Poppy and I were drilling holes in the brand new curio to accommodate the taller dolls!  You know, this would have driven me nuts a year ago.  What?  Drill holes in a perfectly new curio cabinet?
But we had so much fun measuring and drilling, I treasure the whole experience.  The curio was just a wooden piece until we drilled.

June 12,  1998: I spent today cleaning and doing inventory around the house.  I found a few boxes of odds and ends mom had used for her crafts.  Among these items were Pom-Pom makers.  These little rings were the start of what eventually became such a magnificent hobby,  Poppy had to build a little house in the backyard for storage!  It had all started when mom bought the Pom-Pom kit to help Poppy come out of a little depression about 18 years ago.  I recalled how I came to visit and there they were, like two little kids all bound up in yarn and glue.  It was that memory that cruised my mind as I sat in front of the fireplace burning the remnants.  The meditation gave me an interesting insight of being in the present, in the now.  For instance, every entry I make into my journal, though it may seem a fresh creation each day, is starting its journey somewhere.  Creation, in the moment, is what determines outcome, so how very important it is to be present in the present (?)

June 13,  1998 Dream: A vivid and profound dream.

I am in a hospital bed, preparing to ‘die.’ The doctor administers two yellow, rather distasteful pills to me that will induce my death. My children and many others come to say goodbye. I recall a basket woven in blue and white with little flowers affixed here and there, like baby’s breath. I am peacefully awaiting my death. But hours go by and I am feeling fine. I wander around the hospital in a white gown, but then I appear at many outdoor places to visit old friends and family members. The ‘doctor’ is near as I reappear at the hospital bed feeling fine, but dreamy and surreal. He is walking about the room as though he is not aware that I am there. He seems to be making a solution for an injection. I finally realize the pills have had no effect other than a feeling of euphoria, and I get out of bed again. I am then told (by the doctor?) that death is an illusion. But I see my children crying, sad, and dazed. I appear to them individually and they can see that the pills have had no effect! Then suddenly, I am in a huge warehouse and I can see a large open door with light flooding into it. A forklift driver meets me. He reminds me of Nicholas Cage with a gray/blue solid work shirt unbuttoned at the collar with sleeves rolled up, ready to get to work. Strong in voice and compassion, he approaches me and says ‘Little lady, we are going to have to talk about this.’ I am still in this dreamy, giddy state as he hands me a cup of coffee. He encourages me to drink it and starts in on a lecture, but I do not recall what it was about; only that I was profoundly peaceful.

What was in my Ovaltine last night?

When the newborn comes into this world, s/he dies out of the living womb and into a new home of experience.  When we “die”, I think we simply progress out of this womb of experience into another.  Are we born again into a hospital bed?  Are we picked up and nurtured once again as newborns?  The material world cannot provide answers to such philosophical questions, but I believe that the heart—the soul—knows only too well.
(Later): Dawn is breaking now; a beautiful time of day for reflection.  I feel much more willing right now to release my thoughts of extraneous worries and concerns.  Just taking the moment to revitalize.  Death is an illusion for mankind.  I believe my dream symbolized that when we drop the negative programming we have received about death, we will find death to be an illusion.
My prayer for today is to do or say something that will improve an event or someone’s being, some small trickle in a vast ocean that will be positive for the entire flow of things.  Imagine if even 1/100,000 of  the world population willed to do it at the same time.  Awesome.
(Later): It has been a quite day for Poppy and me.  The two foods he craves right now are milkshakes and popcorn.
I am into my fourth reading of Dear and Glorious Physician, a wonderful story.  I’ve been thinking about something the main character Lucanus says to his brother Priscus (a Roman soldier):

Rome has become lazy and flatulent. Lucanus, expressing his concern, says that Republics decay into democracies, which in turn opens the way to dictatorships. He sees it as an irrevocable pattern of nations.

I began considering the state of our own American democracy in today’s world.  I see weak links that are providing fertile ground for extremists to snake their way into a takeover of power.  Yes, I see the signs, but I also have seen that the masses in general are passionate, hardworking defenders of personal freedom, with compassion for humanity but for some quirky reason, we only seem to rally together in times of crises.  Why is that?

If democracy ever dies in America, it might find as its murderer the high tech society that is in the process of isolating people from one another.  The more impersonal we become, the less we bond with each other.  It is that bond that holds compassion together, where Spirit thrives.

Lucanus is a physician, and he spends his early adult life trying to reason everything out.  He is on a crusade to “battle God”, although as a young child he displayed an unfettered knowledge and calling to the Spiritual.  He had healed many along his path as a physician, but he refused to recognize this.  He would walk away from a patient after ministering, doubtful of his skills to bring about healing in critical cases.  When people tried to tell him of his healing power, he dismissed them, saying he had misdiagnosed somehow; that the patient must then have not been as critical as he thought. 
Later in life, he begins to hear of a man in Israel who is healing the dying and raising the “dead”.  His thoughts naturally turn to logical explanations: trickery, mass hysteria, faked deaths, and misdiagnoses.  Suddenly, he hears himself say:

I have many explanations.

He pauses, struck by his own thought. 

Must I always rationalize?

He ponders. 

Must I always rush in a frenzy to explain things in the light of reason? What has my reason brought me but sorrow?

Lucanus realizes that he has fought with God without realizing that God has been with him through it all.  Then, he turns a corner… like I am.

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Written by Galactic Maya

March 15, 2008 at 6:49 pm

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