Galactic Maya

Glimpses into wider realities and observations during life on planet Earth

Caregiving 101: Student Notes

my poor attempt to recreate an 11/02/1998 dream
© 1998-2008


Blogsite: Streams of Consciousness


Caregiving 101: Student Notes

The following are notes I took down as I went through the trial and error of being a caregiver for my father.

Be Willing To Make No Judgments About How This Happened
Whatever you may think about why your loved one is dying, respect their choices as you would want them to respect yours.  This is a classroom, not a courtroom.

Be willing to let go of difficulty
Let go of all the “what if?” thoughts. They are useless here.

Seek inner guidance
There is a purpose for this joining between the living and the dying.  An opportunity exists to open yourself up to profound personal transformation and guidance. Meditative outlets such as yoga, Reiki, or other body work will assist you in closing doors and opening new ones.

Death is a process—not a penalty
Dying is as natural as birthing; both are profound and intimate experiences. Examine negative images you may have about what death “is“, then toss them out.

Remove “What about me!” from your vocabulary
Whatever personal issues you bring to the position of caregiver, leave them behind. This journey is not about you; it’s about rising above the “I” IN you.

Dying is an act of creation
The vomiting or Purging stage: A sick feeling—a psychic destabilizing wave hails the unknown when we find we are losing a loved one. A subconscious earthquake vomits up the old to make way for the new. But it also signals the birth of new ideas, new ways of understanding something greater than yourself.

The craving or Will stage: The Ego craves to survive by making futile attempts to reconstruct the past—the comfort zone. It is a useless exercise. It is the time to re-embrace life with the wonder and curiosity of a child.

The Becoming or Philosophical stage: While the dying begin to detach from this world they are also forming a relationship with a new one. This is the time simply to listen. Much wisdom is coming through that “rambling” mind.

The delivery or Transitional stage: When your loved one dies, a birth also takes place. Rest assured that your loved one has been received in Love by Family and bathed in the newness of Spirit once again.

Practical Tips:


  • Gently place one hand on the heart and one on the forehead to calm a breathing or anxiety difficulty.
  • Don’t project what you think the patient needs; trust their instincts.
  • If they are in a coma, talk with them or play music or read a book to them—they can hear you.
  • Place a picture/photo depicting a peaceful scene or a loved one beside the bed.
  • Keep a hotplate in the room to minimize having to leave during important moments.
  • Refrain from trying to “force feed”; give them what they want.
  • Keep pen and paper available in case they (or you) would like to write something.


Written by Galactic Maya

March 14, 2008 at 6:41 pm

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